Until I Am Whole
Lyrics
Sunset on Snohomish
Burn the tree line down
Hold my hopes underwater
Stand there and watch them drown
Fishing out their bodies
From the bathroom sink
Leave[2] them in a bucket
Til they start to stink
I think I'll stay here
Til I feel whole again
I don't know when
Trout swim past the fishing lines
Sky gets dark and close
Cars start up and make
Their nightly exodus
On a picnic bench alone
Watch the sky[1] go dark
Dig my nails into my hands
Hope it leaves a mark
I think I'll stay here
Til I feel whole again
I don't know when
Banter
- This is a song about self-mutilation. It’s not like explicitly- I wouldn’t write a song and like go into a lot of detail about it. But there’s a few- and what’s funny is when I say this, it’s like I used to think I might be talking to four or five people in a room full of a hundred. But I think, actually, a cold reality is that there are very few people who don’t understand the urge to harm themselves, right. There’s people who pose about it and don’t admit to other people and then suffer, but I think most of us know, right, that you get this need to do something terrible to yourself. (2012-12-14)
- [inaudible request] I'm tempted by that request, but I was kinda excited to put this one on the setlist, because I never play it. Hardly ever. It's actually - it's not that old, that makes it sound like it's old. You don't often have a room full of so many people who are being so awesome and quiet. [audience member immediately yells COME TO NEW JERSEY and is shut up]. This is New York. Lower Manhattan, specifically. Shh. There's a man playing music up here. (2015-04-09 - Webster Hall, New York City)
Live Performances
Footnotes
1. "lake" (2021-08-08)
2. "hold" (2015-04-09)