Never Quite Free

Lyrics

It's so good to learn
that right outside your window
There's only friendly fields
and open roads
And you'll sleep[5] better when you think
you've stepped back from the brink [moved on past the brink 2015-04-07]
And found some peace inside yourself;
lay down your heavy load

It gets alright
to dream at night
Believe in solid skies[6]
and slate blue earth[7] below
But when you see him, you'll know

It's okay to find
the faith to saunter forward
There's[8] no fear of shadows
spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft
all night have set you on dry land[9]

It gets okay
to praise the day
Believe in sheltering skies[10]
and stable earth[1] beneath
But hear his breath come[2]
through his teeth

Walk by faith
Tell no one what you've seen

It's so good to learn
that from right here
the view goes on forever
And you'll never want for comfort,
and you'll never be alone
See[11] the sunset turning red,
let all be quiet in your head
And look about,
all the stars are coming out

They shine like steel swords
Wish me well where I go[3]
But when you see me, you'll know [4]

Banter

the curator of this website is one of those people who believes this song is hopeful. she has some ptsd and finds the fact that one is never completely free of one's past self-evident, and the idea that one can still find a future with peace is quite hopeful indeed. she finds this song to be deeply, deeply true. jd fight me behind the buffalo wild wings that used to be a denny's. winner gets wings or something.

• I suspect I will struggle through several future tours to describe what this song is about in a way that doesn’t bum people out in advance of the song. But here, let me give it a shot. Do you know how there’s that one person or event or thing in your life that you feel you will never ever ever ever shake yourself free of? And you’ve put in the work; you’ve done it and you’ve tried. And anyone who says that you haven’t is an asshole of the first order because you have spent many, many days and nights working on this and maybe money at the therapist’s office. And maybe you’ve gone into little dark holes of the world, taking all kinds of things to try and be free of this person or event. And this is going to sound like a planned thing but the thing is, this is how I wrote this song. I had a bunch of titles; I didn’t know quite how to find the three word title that would describe the content of the song and, of course, it must have three words because of the OCD. And then one day I settled on this and it’s called Never Quite Free. (2011-03-29)
• This is a song about the nagging feeling that your demons will pursue you to the grave, um, I mean I don't know that they will, but I can't assure you that they don't. (2011-03-30)
• I always feel a little guilty when I demystify this song because people find it kind of upbeat and cheery and, like, comforting. And, like, that's a great honor, and I'm so proud that people can use the song for that purpose. But this song is about having one thing in your life that you can never quite get free from no matter how hard you try. It's called 'Never Quite Free.' (2012-01-31)
• JD: So, I listen to a lot of Jackson Browne. But if I could say - and who am I to criticize a songwriter who is my superior in every way - but, he doesn’t really address people turning into wolves in their minds enough in these songs. So musically, this is kind of a Jackson Browne pastiche. Lyrically, it has more people turning into a wolf in their minds than most Jackson Browne songs do. To the best of my knowledge and I have most of the albums. It’s about how if you have a thing- [audience loses their shit, JD laughs] That’s really funny!
  Peter: You’ve created… a monster.
  JD: [Laughs] So, this song is about - I mean, beyond what I’ve told you about it - it’s about how you carry a vision of yourself that is hard, sometimes, to shake. And when I say hard, I’m soft-soaping the case because people who know what I’m talking about know that it’s not hard, it’s impossible. (2012-10-16)
• I didn't do a check to see if I know the lyrics - I put it on the setlist, we were talking about doing that one, oh, let's do that one, 'cause you talk about doing one and if you don't get it done in the first five or six nights of tour, it just goes away. Aw man, we were gonna do that one, we didn't do that one. [crowd calls to do it anyway] Yes, you can say that, but when I forget lyrics, I can't really just improv. Ya know, I can't just - I'll just say some stuff about the mummy. It'll be cool, right? You can't just drag the mummy in. You have to have a basic precept of fiction and poetry, if you're gonna bring the mummy in, you have to have a reason. Some compelling reason for the mummy to come on stage. He can't just wander - if he does this, your professors - they say "once again, John, you brought the mummy." Well he's what the story's really all about - no. (2015-04-07 - Cat's Cradle, Carrboro)
• JD: As I transition to full Diva Mode, we're doing more and more songs where I don't have to play an instrument so that I can be free to [unintelligible]. Prepare for that. Because you know, Madonna once stood on this stage. [unintelligible] She hasn't been answering my phone calls, when I pitched this song to her. It's one I feel that she should really do.
  Peter: When Madonna was on the stage, could you hear screamo coming up through the floor?
  JD: No, but I remember at that time, there was a fierce yearning in her eyes, and I feel it was the yearning for the as-yet-unborn screamo genre. She awaited, going, where, where are these bands? Where is As I Lay Dying? Where are these guys? Their time had not come yet, but their time is now. It's weird, 'cause I can't hear their music, I just feel a faint rumbling and I feel like, oh, I better do this song pretty good because the stage is going to explode. I deeply regret that I don't have my swoop haircut to stand in the [unintelligible] screamo. And I could have had one, I could have said, give me another swoop, but I did not. This song has very little to do with most of that. It's about, um. This song is about. [faint screamo is audible] The things that you feel define you, that you hope one day to shake free of. (2015-04-09 - Webster Hall, NYC)
• I always feel like saying what it's about is cheating people out of a more comforting misinterpretation... What the song is about is what its title says. It's about not being able to ever fully entirely feel loosed from something that bound you, no matter how you see the evidence of your bondage growing old and desiccated underneath you and no longer actually has its grip on you. But there's still the marks where the ropes were. (2015-04-11 - City Winery, New York City)
• It is a song about a sort of cautious optimism. (2015-04-16)
• This is a song about the rear-view mirror, which is a weird place to hang out because the ones in your car, like, you drive and the thing in it gets smaller and then it's gone, right? But then there's the other internal rear-view mirror where the shapes grow bigger and larger according to their own sort of calculus that you can't really figure out. But you sort of have to have faith that eventually you'll be far enough down the road that the thing that was there constantly, for most of the drive, will recede and recede and be invisible. (2015-06-01 The Fillmore)
• This is a song about, uh, a sort of - you tread lightly around a word like 'liberated,' but - this is a song about, um, wanting to liberate yourself from things that genuinely bind you, and feeling as though the last little bits of those cords will never quite be off your skin. It's called 'Never Quite Free.' (2015-06-03)
• This is a song about going through trauma. (2016-04-16)
• This was on All Eternals Deck. I think people should use songs for whatever they want to use them for, but every so often I meet someone who considers this a very hopeful song, and I go, 'cool'. I mean it is called, never quite free. I thought I put it up there in the title, but, hey. Stay out of the results, as they say. (2021-08-06 The Orange Peel)

Live Performances

• 2015-04-07 - Cat's Cradle, Carrboro (recording)
• 2015-04-08 - 9:30 Club, Washington DC
• 2015-04-09 - Webster Hall, NYC (recording)
• 2015-04-11 - City Winery, New York City (recording)
• 2015-06-01 The Fillmore
• 2021-08-06 The Orange Peel (recording)
• 2021-08-08 The Saturn (recording)

Footnotes