Heel Turn 2

Lyrics

Get stomped like a snake
Lie down in the dirt
Cling to my convictions
Even when I get hurt
Be an upstanding well-loved man about town
In your child’s mind that's how it goes down

But I tried
The losing side
I don't want to die in here
I don't want to die in here

Drift down into the new dark light
Without any reservations
You found my breaking point
Congratulations
Spent too much of my life now trying to play fair
Throw my better self overboard, shoot at him when he comes up for air

Come unhinged
Get revenge*
I don't want to die in here
I don't want to die in here

Stay good under pressure
For years and years and years and years
President of the fan club up there
Choking on his tears**

Let all the trash rain down
From way up in the rafters
I'm^ walking out of here in one piece
Don't care what comes after

Drive the wedge
Torch the bridge***
I don’t want to die in here
I don’t want to die in here

Banter

  • JD:There's only one left!
    Audience and Wurster: awwwwwwww
    Erin: Happens sometimes.
    JD: There's only one left on there!
    Audience, louder: noooooo!!
    JD: It is a song about professional wrestling...
    Audience, even louder: WOOOOO!!
    JD: I don't know how many of you are conversant in the general tropes of professional wrestling, this is not the amateur thing, people don't get to punch each other in the face. Which is obviously, it's a science, they have in professional wrestling what are called 'scientific wrestlers', I dunno if they still have these. In my day, the scientific wrestler was there to, [audience member yells] no, I'm gonna sing a song about professional wrestling. In the middle of a spiel about it. So, scientific wrestlers' function was to be the good guy who you pretend to admire, and then he just gets his face beaten to a pulp. Everybody like, applauds politely when the scientific wrestler grapples, and holds his hands on the other guy's shoulders and moves around. It looks like amateur wrestling. Nobody paid to see that, at the mid-south auditorium or whatever. The scientific wrestler wins if it's in the opening match and loses elsewhere. But a great thing happens, because he's been sort of played to be the hero the whole time. He comes in, he's very clean cut, the scientific wrestler, no tattoos, just togs and a good body, and at some point, with every scientific wrestler I think this is true, at some point he, like, gets punched in the face and gets up, punched in the face, gets up, and the bad guy punches him in the face with a closed fist, which is technically not a wrestling maneuver. But you do see a lot of it in wrestling. Curious to me. But at some point, he gets a really big haymaker to the jaw, and as it's falling he sorta reels, he stands there swaying, and he gets a look on his face, and you can see the look on his face in the highest rack, it needs no amplification. Because suddenly there is outrage in his eyes. Suddenly he's thinking, what good have the rules done me? Why am I adhering to a code nobody else even seems to know, or if they do know it, they spit on it before they get out of bed in the morning and then they come to this building to beat me as I, and I alone, adhere to the code of professional and scientific wrestling? And the rest of these people come in and they spit on me and they light me on fire, and they pull little objects out of their togs and hit me over the head with them. Why should I be the only person who follows the rules around here? If nobody else is following the rules, should I not then visit my vengeance upon these bad guys? (2021-08-06 The Orange Peel)
  • At the end of the song when it closes shows, JD will often introduce the band and then give a humorous alias for himself - "My name is Liza Minelli, and I look good." (2021-08-19 Gothic Theatre)
  • [request from the crowd] Aw, I wish I knew how to play Etruscans. Etruscans is a fun song. No idea how that one goes. The version you know is the only time it was ever played. Which is how you know it's probably one of my best songs. THe best ones are the ones where you go, no, it's done there, I think, we'll never play that one anywhere. Wait wait wait, I like that tone. Say again? [someone yells something else, JD chastises them]. Yes? [audience member: Heel Turn 2!] By myself?!? [audience goes nuts affirmatively] Okay! [JD starts to play intro] Normally this is one of those dramatic live numbers with the whole band, a very long ending, that's not gonna be the case by myself. [intro continues] If you don't watch wrestling, that's okay. You don't have to watch anything you don't wanna watch. But a heel turn, if you don't know what it is, there's two kinds of people in wrestling. Faces and heels. Face is short for babyface. Does what it says on the tin. Babyface is beautiful. Everybody loves him. A heel, is on the back of your foot, it's dirty. It will kick you. Babyfaces do what they do, but every once in a while, they can't take it. And they turn heel.They usually do it in front of a camera. They get their money's worth. This is called Heel Turn 2. (2023-10-07 Ace of Spades)

    • Live Performances

    Footnotes